It is really super duper easy to have moments when the anxiety takes over and an appointment is coming up. For me that is happening right now. It isn’t easy. It really sucks a lot. I cried in the middle of school today (not my proudest moment). I had a nice big conversation with one of my friends about the current state of my health. Mostly right now what sucks is that I have no clue what to do next. I tried erythromycin for my gastroparesis and while it gave me 7 really awesome days, that is all it did. I am coming to the end of using it. So right now a lot of friends are asking what the next step is. And in the moment it is really easy to feel like there is no next step, like I have exhausted all the options. But that isn’t even remotely close to true. The conversation with my friend made me realize that a lot. She told me so many things just in general that could help and they all make total sense. Even if not specific to GP they could help. One of the suggestions will totally be coming up on Friday at my appointment. But the biggest thing she said that is easy to lose track of it that I always need to fight and advocate for myself. If my doctors say there isn’t anything else to do, to get another opinion because there is so much out there and I need to be able to help myself get through this. And I need to have people on my side that are going to work with me to make it happen. Which I sometimes forget. That I am in control and I can do this. I am fighting and no matter what there will be a point I am able to have things figured out more and under control. It just takes someone hammering it into your head for it to sink in a little.